You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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