They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
