no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
