Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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