Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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