I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
