I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
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i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize