No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
i've created a new STD.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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