If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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