If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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