If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
