Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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