I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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