He is an equal opportunity slut.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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