If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
