You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
