i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
