i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
