I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
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yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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