yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
