She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Buhtt sex?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
