You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize