I am puke
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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