This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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