What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
