We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
