My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
