I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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