did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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