Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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