dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
