In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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