Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
