Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
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Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
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You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I smell like Dick and happiness
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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