what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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