My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
