Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
