I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
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This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
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All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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