Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
