dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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