He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
only if we run a train.
done.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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