I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
