I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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