apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
