I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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