I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
false alarm, still single
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
