oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
