Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
