We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
