Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
