doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
