its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
