Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
