I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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