Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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