I think I am morally bankrupt
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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