What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
